Thursday, September 22, 2016

Growing up and my background



I was born back in 77 and adopted right away. My family was Church of Christ so that is what I was raised in. I always knew I was different but didn't know why or how. So when I came to be about 18, a preacher said to go out and search for my own religion. Which I did!

 I went to a Presbyterian private school so I learned about them. I studied wicca and began to like what I saw. There was a Goddess, there was acceptance, and about then I was realizing I was different not just because of my mental disorders, but because I am a lesbian. Soon after I found wicca, I realized it was nice but not what I wanted either. I tried shamanism and still nope not for me. 

I then went to druidism and fell right into a feeling of home. I practiced this religion for a long time and walking away from it was not an easy choice. I basically though felt as though I gave everything to the path and yet got nothing in return.

 So I started looking again. In my heart, I always missed the singing in the Church. I missed the people. So I walked back in.

 I then started praying to God and things started happening. I asked for signs that I could be a lesbian and in the Church of Christ and found this blog called the Closeted Professor. Boy was I so happy to find this.

 About that time I was also saying if I found it was okay to be a lesbian and in the Church I would go back and give it my all. I found that answer through some searching and reading. I then asked God if this is the path I was to walk and if so to show me a sign. That morning I went to a service and was given two. In the sermon the preacher said "Pagans run" and I have been my whole life. I was and am tired of running. Then he said, "Come home" and I knew right then that I needed to go back to the Church of Christ.

 Now, I at first tried holding on to the pagan ways and do the Church of Christ thing, but I have realized I can't have both. So now the journey starts. And you know that I am coming from a colorful background and I will dissect each thing and hopefully this will be fun even though it is a deep subject.