Saturday, October 22, 2016

How did I know I was a lesbian?

"Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock, and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
Genesis 1:26-27

"Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind."
Genesis 9:6

"A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God."
1 Corinthians 11:7

"For those that are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God"
Romans 8:14

"So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ."
Galatians 3:26-27

When I was young, I always wanted to experiment with girls.  I remember one time a boy and me showed each other what the other got and laughing cause it looked so funny to me.  And ever since then, the male body looked funny to me.  I have always been drawn to women.

Some of my closest relationships are with women.  I can't explain it.  It just is!  The first time I slept with a man, I felt dirty and unclean, but the first time I was with a woman, it felt right and I found it to be wonderful.

But this attraction is more then sex, it is also who I am drawn to for friends.  An intellectual relationship!  An emotional bond!  Sure I can be one of the guys, but I don't get guys.  I, on the other hand, don't get women either, but am more likely to have a relationship with a woman before I am a man.

I am what they call a soft butch.  I want to be the care taker, I want to dote on a woman, I want to be the knight in shining armor.  I don't want to be saved, as I already am through Christ Jesus.  I do want a partner though.

I always knew I was different, but it wasn't till my twenties that I really understood why I was different.  And today, being a lesbian is the natural way to me.  I don't see myself with a man, maybe a roommate, but not coupled with one.

It just saddens me though that there are people that want you to change your DNA and just stop being a lesbian.  I can't pray it away, nor do I wish to!  It is like my mental illness, I can't stop being bipolar.  It is who I am.

We don't ask straight people to stop being straight, so why ask a gay person to stop being gay?  It doesn't make sense to do that.  If we are truly all made in God's image and God doesn't make a mistake, then who are we to say someone has to stop being themselves?

God says we are his children when we are baptized into Christ, not before that and we don't stop after that.  Just because I am gay doesn't make me any less a child of God!  It just means I am different then some.  But hey, aren't we all different in some way.

I don't go along and tell someone to stop being themselves.  Our differences make us better for each other, where one is giving another can make sure there is enough to take care of the household.  Where one is outspoken, another will be able to softly speak to those that are turned off by a loud person.  And where a straight person can save many, a gay person may just bring another gay person into the love of Christ because they understand that person better.

Next time you want to tell someone not to be them, think would you want someone to tell that to you?  Being who we are is not the sin, it is acting upon the things that are not Godly that is.  And me being a lesbian is not wrong, me having sex before marriage that is wrong.  Me being with a woman in a healthy relationship is not wrong.  But that is for another topic which we are covering in a series in this blog, if you have not read it go to the section titled "The Bible and Homosexuality".

In closing, I am a lesbian not because I say I am, but because that is who I am to the core.  That don't mean I am less a child of God because of it, just means I am different.