Thursday, September 28, 2017

Book Review: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak


Here is what Amazon says about this book: 

Does God's word in the Bible really condemn homosexuality?...... Top scholars--like the late John Boswell of Yale, Daniel Boyarin of Berkeley, Bernadette Brooten of Brandeis, L.William Countryman of the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, Victor P. Furnish of SMU, Saul M. Olyan of Brown and Robin Scruggs of Union Theological Seminary--show that those who perceive Bible passages as condemning homosexuality are being misled by faulty translation and poor interpretation...... Danial A. Helminiak, Ph.D. respected theologian, and Roman Catholic priest explain in a clear fashion the fascinating new insights of these scholars...... The Bible has been used to justify slavery, inquisitions, apartheid and the subjugation of women. Now, in this book which has sold over 100 thousand copies, read what the Bible really says about homosexuality.

Here is what I say about it:

I really enjoyed this book.  It was very informative and had an easy flow about it.  I also like how the author makes notes about each source in the end.  I found myself not wanting to put this book down.  I recommend it to anyone that wants to know more about the Bible and its' views on homosexuality.  Very good book!




Friday, September 22, 2017

One year blog anniversary! The lesbian did it!


They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
Psalm 145:7

It is hard to believe a whole year has gone by!  And how blessed it has been.  This blog has grown and now has had over 1,000 readers, each post being read at least 250 times, and several followers.  I am humbled by the acceptance of it and growth of it.

So what have I learned from this experience so far?  First is that no matter what keep writing, even when I am not sure anyone will get anything out of it.  I might just be the one that gets something.  Two, people respond when you least expect it and give encouragement!  Three, not all posts are good just like not all readers are going to be good, but they are all important.

The biggest thing I have learned though is that God is in control of it all!  I grew in my relationship with Him, learned His word better, and know more than ever my walk with Him is just that, mine!

I won't stop blogging, in fact, I will be more dedicated to it as I move forward!  It challenges me to be better, learn God's word, and therefore I hope it challenges you too!

So those that have been with me through the year, thank you!  Those just jumping on the ride, welcome!  And may we have a great future learning about God, sharing, and growing!

So what is to come?  Glad you asked!  I will have some more short stories out soon, poetry in the works too!  I am also working on some book reviews as I have about five I am working on now.  I also want to do a series on the scriptures themselves that deal with being gay and really look at them.  Maybe even get some blog posts where I interview different people.  I would love to get some of the authors and preachers I know to do a questionnaire and be on here.  And as always, suggestions are welcome!

Thank you again and know I love yall for reading this even if you don't agree with me!

Monday, September 11, 2017

Death of a Lesbian


That is what should have been said two years ago!  I was in a dark place, I thought dirt was more valuable than me.  I was in deep depression, in an abusive relationship, and saw no way out.  I thought the world would be better without me.  So, after a night of hearing how horrible I was, I hit a very big low and decided I had enough.

I can remember sitting on my bed and unloading all my pills into one pile.  I took a leather belt and attached it to the wall.  I sat there, crying, and wrote a final note.  I then downed every last pill.  I took a whole bottle of Latuda, Lamictal, Synthroid, Tylenol pm, and Advil pm.  I blacked out.

Three days later, I woke up in the hospital.  My mother was there and we just looked at each other.  I did not realize it had been three days.  I immediately wanted out of the hospital and get back to life since I failed.  Yet if you asked me, I did not want to live either.

I stayed two weeks in a mental hospital till I could prove that I was not going to do anything at the time.  When I got out, I stayed in a hotel as I no longer had a home to go to.  I worked and slept.  I was still in the dark place and thought about dying daily, but I could not figure out how to do it and be successful.

A few months went by and I decided something had to change.  I reached out, honestly reached out.  I got in touch with a preacher of my past and asked for help.  I didn't want to feel like I did and I did not know how to change.

I did not know then that my whole life would change.  I got honest with this old friend of mine for the first time.  I did not run from the pain.  I really wanted to change and I knew what I was doing was not working.

I did not know then that the work of God to bring me back to Him was already in place.  I was doubting my pagan belief and already made up my mind to walk from it, but I was not prepared for where I walked to.  I began going to church, I met with my preacher friend weekly, and I started researching things.

I had to do my homework.  I needed to know I would be accepted no matter what and that me being gay was not a big deal.  I started reading books, I started this blog a year ago, and I got busy.  Before I knew it, I was ready to dedicate my life to God and wanted to live.

So why have I written all this?  It is not to get a good job or apologize, but to show to people even if it is just one person, that things can change.  That there is coming back from the depths of suicide and depression.  That it can be done.

So what did it take?  How was I able to go from wanting to die to want to live?  The simple answer would be God.  But there was more to it than that.  There was a process to follow.


  1. Step one, let go of the idea of dying.
  2. Step two, realize things had to change.
  3. Allow someone I trust into my life to help me.
  4. Ask for help.
  5. Research for myself about things.
  6. Let go of old thoughts and ideas
  7. Let God into my life
  8. Let God work in my life
  9. Praise God for the work
  10. Decide to live again.
Sure there was more to it, like hours of talking things out.  And there were days that I had to force myself out of bed.  There were times I didn't want to work and times I didn't want to go to counseling.  Yet, even when I didn't want to, I went.  I was committed to changing my life!

To this day I still see my preacher weekly.  I don't feel right when we don't meet.  I have learned much about life and God over time through all this.  And I know a new freedom and joy of life.

If you are out there, you don't want to live but you don't want to feel that way, there is the help available.  Reach out, even if it is to a stranger like me.  Talk, nothing changes till you talk and get help. I will leave you with this final thought:

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.
John 1:4

To live, we must die to self and it is then we find life in Christ!

Monday, September 4, 2017

I believe in you!


I have no scripture to go with this today, just words, my words.  I know usually, I try to tie in something but after looking, I did not find anything that I could use that said what I was trying to say.   
Isn't it nice when someone comes along and says they believe in you, right?  You say thank you and inside you get all hopeful.  Especially if you are having a hard time believing in yourself.  I speak from experience.  My faith in self is always going up and down.  Some days I can say I got this and others not so much.  Yet when one person says we got this, I believe in you, then my whole attitude changes.

So how does God say he believes in us?  Simple, He believed so much in us that He sent His only son to die for us.  What a powerful thing that is!  If you have read my blog, you know that I have a son, he is adopted out.  My love and belief in him were so strong that I gave him the life he could flourish in.  Not give him up so others could be saved.  God though, gave His son for us.  He said these people are worth saving and for that, there needs to be a sacrifice like no other.

When I asked my preacher what scripture to say for this, he reminded me of Romans 7 starting in verse 15 to verse 25.  It says:

 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

So there it is, though I am sinful, God says I will deliver you cause I believe in you!  A scripture that came to my mind as I wrote this is Deuteronomy 31:6.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

I have learned in the years I have been alive, that those that love you and believe in you are those that never leave you!  So here is God saying it!  How beautiful a scripture!  And if that is not enough then there is Hebrews 13:5-6.

Don't be obsessed with getting more material things.  Be relaxed with what you have.  Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you." We can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?

God is there all the time for us and He believes in us more than we can ever imagine!  I will leave you with one final scripture.  I find this one of hope that says to me even when I don't believe in me, He does.  In Jeremiah 29:13 God says:

When you come looking for me, you'll find me.  Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.

I have to look for God, but it is easy to find Him because He is right there with me and believing in me!

Saturday, September 2, 2017

When the floods hit.


"I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”
Genesis 9:11

As we deal with the flooding of Houston, where I currently live, I am reminded that God will not flood the Earth totally again.  I can not imagine though how Noah must have felt with 40 days of rain!  I was going stir crazy with 4!  By the time I left my home, I was in a deep depression.  I will never go through a storm alone again.  

I am very grateful that my home was not destroyed, that I have a job to return to immediately, and food to still last me.  So many of my friends are not so lucky.  Some are staying in shelters, friends' houses, or hotels.  Some have lost everything.  And some have lost even loved ones.

Houston will recover from this, but like Ike changed us, this storm Harvey has changed us too.  For now, people are not caring what religion you are, what race you are, what sexuality you are, or what political party you subscribe to.  People are just helping people!

It is overwhelming the amount of generosity that has come out of this.  Strangers helping strangers.  People from all over the world donating to help.  People feeding each other.  It is truly a time the community has set aside differences and come together as one.

It would be nice we could take this from this point and continue it.  We may not have a storm seen on radar going on but may have an emotional storm or financial storm or family storm.  We never know what another may be going through.  Storms are not just physical.

I know for me when someone reaches for a hand of help, I will give what I can!  And sometimes it is just praying for someone, a hug, or time to listen.  Not caring about the differences that separate us but caring that we are all human and need help.

What are you doing today to help someone in a storm?  Are you in one and need help?  I don't do this often but I offer my number for anyone who needs help to call.  I may not be able to help in some ways like financially but I will help in what ever way I can.  Just call 832-570-7023 and know there will be a friendly ear to listen!